I haven't been myself lately, as I've been told. The past is behind me now, tomorrow is a new start. You know who gets to make the decisions for my life? I do. That's right, I am the one that determines whether I am going to have a good day, week, month, year, life. God has given me the strength and ability to face each day. I'm still here, aren't I?

We only have one chance at life. Live it to the fullest, take chances, write thank you notes, smile at strangers, gaze at the stars, travel the world, write a song and sing it to the birds, jump in a huge pile of leaves, surprise your momma with fresh flowers, do something nice without being asked to, do something totally unexpected, and remember to love with everything in you.

I am going to have an awesome week. No matter what God decides to throw my way, everything will be okay because He is in charge.

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight.

I haven't truly updated in forever. No one really looks at this anyway.

My life has been pretty chaotic lately, I guess in a good way. Maybe.

I've learned many things about myself the past couple weeks. I've learned I'm a lot stronger than I thought, even through my numerous breakdowns. I haven't really been my normal bubbly self, and if you've been around me and I've been grouchy, I would like to give you my deepest condolences.

The song that sums me up today is Lifehouse's "Broken". I'm not trying to be all sappy and depressed, promise. It just truly describes what I'm experiencing in life right now.

"I'm hangin' on another day, just to see what you will throw my way.

And I'm hangin' on to the words you say, you said that I will be okay."

God never said this life would be easy, be He did promise that we wouldn't journey it alone.

Also, something totally not related to this...Every time I hear the song "Good Riddance" by Green Day, I pretty much burst into tears. It reminds me of all the fond memories I've had the pleasure of experiencing. I miss 4-H, I'd give anything to rewind time to about 2 years ago.

I have an obsession with http://icanread.tumblr.com/

It's basically a blog that has images with words.

Anyway, I saw a cute little image with an older couple on it. It read, "I love seeing old couples. It makes me realize that actually someone can love you forever."

I can't help it, I'm a hopeless romantic.

Sorry, this blog has been super spontaneous and all over the place. My thoughts are like that :)

Don't let me fall in love with you..

You got sapphire eyes and that's okay.
I've seen that before, it's nothing new.
You can look at me that way if you want.
But don't let me fall in love with you.
You got one of those smiles I've heard about, that can tear a soul in two.
Almost afraid to see you happy.
I just might fall in love with you.

Don't let me fall, don't be so cruel.
Don't let me fall, if I can't have you.

When we touch electricity gets through.
It's a good trick if you can do it,
To make me fall in love with you.

Don't let me fall, don't be so cruel.
Don't let me fall,
If I can't have you.

You talk with tongues of angels.
And there is grace in all you do.
My heart aches to see you sway like that.
Oh, please, please don't let me fall in love with you.
Please, please don't let me fall in love with you.

Your eyes are either gray or blue, I'm never close enough to say.

I won't make the move
you must make the move
If you make the move
I will then approve
If you do not move
we will surely lose

Gray or Blue-Jaymay

..Hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin..

I never quite understood John Mayer's song, "Waiting on the World to Change". Why must we wait for change? Instead of complaining about how horrible the world is, why don't you get up and do something. The condition of this world is in OUR hands. Go pick up the trash you see on the side of the road. Help someone get back on their feet. Listen when someone talks to you, don't just nod on cue.

"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
-James M. Barrie.

Everyone is facing some kind of giant. Some people hide it so well that no one ever notices.

Come Home- OneRepublic
This song never ceases to leave me with chills.

Music was supposed to bring people closer.

And I thought about how many people have loved those songs. And how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. And how many people enjoyed good times with those songs. And how much those songs really mean. I think it would be great to have written one of those songs. I bet if I wrote one of them, I would be very proud. I hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. I hope they feel it's enough. I really do because they've made me happy. And I'm only one person.
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower

A few songs that have had a tremendous impact on my life:

Dream- Priscilla Ahn
Keep Breathing- Ingrid Michaelson
Jesus Christ- Brand New
Dirty and Left Out- The Almost
How He Loves- John Mark McMillan
Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol
Everything- Lifehouse
From Where You Are- Lifehouse
Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing- Sufjan Stevens
Such Great Heights- Iron and Wine
Where We Gonna Go From Here- Mat Kearney

We were made to never fall away..

One of these days the sky's gonna break and everything will escape and I'll know
One of these days the mountains are gonna fall into the sea and they'll know
That you and I were made for this
I was made to taste your kiss
We were made to never fall away
Never fall away

One of these days letters are gonna fall from the sky telling us all to go free
But until that day I'll find a way to let everybody know that you're coming back, you're coming back for me
'Cause even though you left me here I have nothing left to fear
These are only walls that hold me here
Hold me here, hold me here
The only walls to hold me here

One day soon I'll hold you like the sun holds the moon
And we will hear those planes overhead and we won't have to be scared
We won't have to be scared, we won't have to be scared

You're coming back for me
You're coming back for me
You're coming back to me

-"Letters From The Sky" by Civil Twilight


I find this song so chilling, but yet so beautiful. It could be taken as simply a love song for two lovers apart by circumstance. It is very possible that the epic imagery is based off of biblical events such as the end of the world. There are undeniable religious themes in the song, the sky breaking and mountains cast into the sea, along with fear of planes flying overhead strongly suggest apocalyptic themes and the second coming. It reads "we were made to never fall away". One thing to note is that the lyrics not only pertain to the speaker but to us all.