I went on a mission trip in 2008 to Peru.

I would return in a heartbeat.

I went there thinking I was going to make a difference in the lives of the people there, when actually they made an extraordinary impact on my life.

This little girl in the picture with me is Nadia. She was 4 years old when this picture was taken. We formed a great attachment and leaving her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I often wonder how she is doing now.

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

How He Loves- John Mark McMillan

I am not the victim, the Enemy made me believe that I was. I am not reduced. I am not ugly. I do not contribute to my own sorrow.

The Enemy made me believe that I amounted to the worth of the trials and negativity that I encountered.

You gave me the gift of presence. I know You created me to effect.

Unfortunately, I hid it. I polluted it. In which the Enemy and his forces that work in others delighted. This led me to ignore You. This led me to believe the pollution, even several times in the face of You, Lord.

But God, you work. You are the most persistent. Your love is the everlasting. Yours is the love that is meant to reign in our hearts.

And when You knew it was right, when You knew I had no choice but to listen with an open heart; You showed me the pollution I allowed to be placed upon and mask my heart. Mask my good.

I knew that was not of me. I am of You. I am of love. I took that contamination and decided to let it go in favor of Your love.

I have invited You in. I have welcomed You into my heart. You have risen to my request to heal the damaged corners and weakened columns that you worked to uphold all along.

There You have made a home. In that home, You grow Your love. You, strengthened by myself. You, strengthened my faith. You, unscathed and pure, are my Lord.

You are possible.

I worship You. I live You. I love You, Lord.

Thank You.

Love, Your daughter,

Stephanie

No Facebook November

I am not going to be on Facebook during the month of November. Why? Because it has become a distraction and an addiction, and you find out way too much about some people on FB. That is what I tell people when they ask. Then they look at me with an odd look on their face and ask why that's such a bad thing. Then I usually just laugh it off and change the subject to something more interesting. To be completely honest, some things should just not be put on Facebook. I am going to have a wonderful month, Facebook free! So hello blogging! :)

My time of peace is usually when I'm driving. I love to drive, there is hardly anything better than an open road and some chill music to keep me company. God has a pretty cool way of making Himself evident to me. This morning, as I was driving to work, I was stopped at a stoplight and I could hardly see the light change because the sun was so bright behind it. At first I was like "Oh no, I can't see!" and then I looked beyond the stoplight and saw the sun shining in through the clouds. It was so beautiful to see God's easel right in front of me. Cold chills ran up my arms as I waited for the light to change to green. Pretty cool, huh?

You're Beautiful- Phil Wickham

I haven't been myself lately, as I've been told. The past is behind me now, tomorrow is a new start. You know who gets to make the decisions for my life? I do. That's right, I am the one that determines whether I am going to have a good day, week, month, year, life. God has given me the strength and ability to face each day. I'm still here, aren't I?

We only have one chance at life. Live it to the fullest, take chances, write thank you notes, smile at strangers, gaze at the stars, travel the world, write a song and sing it to the birds, jump in a huge pile of leaves, surprise your momma with fresh flowers, do something nice without being asked to, do something totally unexpected, and remember to love with everything in you.

I am going to have an awesome week. No matter what God decides to throw my way, everything will be okay because He is in charge.

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight.

I haven't truly updated in forever. No one really looks at this anyway.

My life has been pretty chaotic lately, I guess in a good way. Maybe.

I've learned many things about myself the past couple weeks. I've learned I'm a lot stronger than I thought, even through my numerous breakdowns. I haven't really been my normal bubbly self, and if you've been around me and I've been grouchy, I would like to give you my deepest condolences.

The song that sums me up today is Lifehouse's "Broken". I'm not trying to be all sappy and depressed, promise. It just truly describes what I'm experiencing in life right now.

"I'm hangin' on another day, just to see what you will throw my way.

And I'm hangin' on to the words you say, you said that I will be okay."

God never said this life would be easy, be He did promise that we wouldn't journey it alone.

Also, something totally not related to this...Every time I hear the song "Good Riddance" by Green Day, I pretty much burst into tears. It reminds me of all the fond memories I've had the pleasure of experiencing. I miss 4-H, I'd give anything to rewind time to about 2 years ago.

I have an obsession with http://icanread.tumblr.com/

It's basically a blog that has images with words.

Anyway, I saw a cute little image with an older couple on it. It read, "I love seeing old couples. It makes me realize that actually someone can love you forever."

I can't help it, I'm a hopeless romantic.

Sorry, this blog has been super spontaneous and all over the place. My thoughts are like that :)

Don't let me fall in love with you..

You got sapphire eyes and that's okay.
I've seen that before, it's nothing new.
You can look at me that way if you want.
But don't let me fall in love with you.
You got one of those smiles I've heard about, that can tear a soul in two.
Almost afraid to see you happy.
I just might fall in love with you.

Don't let me fall, don't be so cruel.
Don't let me fall, if I can't have you.

When we touch electricity gets through.
It's a good trick if you can do it,
To make me fall in love with you.

Don't let me fall, don't be so cruel.
Don't let me fall,
If I can't have you.

You talk with tongues of angels.
And there is grace in all you do.
My heart aches to see you sway like that.
Oh, please, please don't let me fall in love with you.
Please, please don't let me fall in love with you.

Your eyes are either gray or blue, I'm never close enough to say.

I won't make the move
you must make the move
If you make the move
I will then approve
If you do not move
we will surely lose

Gray or Blue-Jaymay